Five Four and a Quarter

Questions, confessions, experiences, and inspirations of a twenty-something-year-old

Moving Forward While Clinging to the Past November 18, 2011

Filed under: big decisions,Life — Arianna Bolotin @ 4:56 pm

About a month ago, I spent the weekend in Burlington, VT. This was the first time I had been to Burlington since I moved out in mid-August. I still feel a pang of nostalgia thinking back on that weekend. It was SO good to see my friends and co-workers I left behind and to spend time in a place that has become so familiar to me after the last four years. This weekend was truly one of the greatest I can remember in a long time.

A weekend wasn’t long enough to spend visiting. And saying goodbye to my friends yet again as I left Sunday evening was so sad that we spent a good hour uncontrollably crying –the fact that we had been drinking all day during a golf tournament may have factored into this a little bit.– Nonetheless, I found myself really second guessing my decision to move away. I felt like I had left so much behind. As much as people diss on Vermont, I had a lot going for myself in Burlington. I had the greatest friends in the world –some  moved away after college but many are still there,– I had a job that I loved,  and I could have pursued a lot of career opportunities through the connections I had made. On my ride back to Boston I couldn’t stop thinking about all the life-altering choices I had made. I uprooted myself in the hopes of finding a life that was bigger and better. The bigger part I’ve definitely found. Boston has so much more to offer than Burlington, both in terms of things to do and job opportunities. I don’t think I’ve yet found a life that is better. It’s not worse, but just not superior. 

It isn’t Burlington that I miss. It’s just the people who still live there. In an ideal world, all of my friends from Burlington would live in Boston. That would be the perfect life right now. In addition to the people I’ve met here at my job, I typically hang out with friends from Vermont, both those who used to live in Burlington and those with whom I grew up. To be honest, I don’t have a large desire to make new friends right now. In the past, whenever I’ve made a new group of friends they have taken the place of my older friends. Even in college, I had a very different group of friends senior year compared to freshman year. I am determined to not let this happen again. I want the friends that I have now to be the ones that stay in my life, even if some of them live over 200 miles away.

Leaving Burlington that day was the saddest I’ve been in a long time. It wasn’t until I got off of 93 South and turned onto Storrow Drive as I arrived back in Boston that I felt happy. This is my life now and Boston is home. If my friends were here things would be perfect, but they’re not, although I’m trying to talk some into moving down. It can be  a real challenge to stay in touch with people whose lives differ so much from my own, but I’m determined to make these friendships to last.  I can’t imagine anyone new in my life living up to the place my friends have in my heart. For now, we’ll just have to rely on text messages, Skype, and social media to keep our lives intertwined.


2 Responses to “Moving Forward While Clinging to the Past”

  1. […] I’ve never been big on new year’s resolutions. –I confess, there were several consecutive years in high school where my resolution was to not throw up the following New Year’s Eve.– Seriously though, what do I want to be my goal for the coming year? To exercise? I already do. To eat healthy? Thanks to my parents, this has been engrained in me my whole life. To travel the world? Although that would be amazing, it requires both money and a time commitment that I do not currently possess. To keep in touch with old friends? I vowed I would do this long before the new year came around. To cook? To take on a new hobby? To learn a new skill? Not to sound overly confident, but these are all things that either already make up my life or that I know aren’t in my current hand of cards. Anyway, I agree with Grace Boyle when she says that “I think that resolutions, challenges and goals are important. The part I disagree with is only doing….” […]

  2. […] from a college student to a young professional; I experienced emotional trauma, physical pain, happiness, and sorrow; and I spread my wings and left Vermont, the place I have always known as […]

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